Remember: to 'discover' is defined in Merriam-Webster's dictionary as 'to make known' or 'visible'; to 'expose'.
It is hard to talk about discovering women without talking about myself, because that is what I know. How can anyone tell you anything about what a woman is other than a woman herself?
My experiences, my feelings, my insights, my quirks are all mine.
While we all bear the same title as 'women', we are all different, unique, complex creatures.
We are beautiful, fragile, strong, and intelligent.
In fact, there are not enough words to describe everything a woman is, and, can be.
We are all capable of wondrous things. Our potential is limitless.
Yet, for me, while I may appear to be on the 'top of my game', I struggle. I often feel like I should be happy, but I am not.
While others may see me as a success, I live with a shadow. A shadow of darkness. A darkness that has no mercy, and is relentless. That darkness is depression.
Sometimes it is a slow descent down that dark hill. Other times, it is a plummet, with no end in sight.
And, while I have may appear to have a good career, a wonderful family life and a healthy body, I often feel lost, alone, and insignificant!
I feel like I am living someone else's life and I am just a passive observer of it; waiting for my life to come along. I think I am supposed to live a different life because this one has been way too hard.
I am revealing this because I don't think I am alone. I think there are other women who feel that having it all is an illusion because it doesn't make them happy. But please know that being unhappy is much different from depression. So vastly different!
I also think that there are other women who appear to be on top of their game who also suffer from depression.
So I want to leave you with is this: when you see that woman, whom you think has it all going for her, but she is 'looking down', or you think she is having a bad day, maybe you will remember what you discovered here. It may just be that:
a small part
of the true pain
of living with the darkness
PLEASE BE GENTLE!